and yet her other friends, they ALL know! what the hell am i supposed to make of that? "yeah o love you, i just dont trust you enough with my secrets.."
were growing apart, and i cant see how thats on me. i dont hold out on her. the important things to me, she knows all of them. something happens to me, i want to tell her. something happens to her, she tells me when its convenient for her; when she can find time. and i am so so so unbelievably tired of it. one of my friends asked me if i even still want to be friends with her. and yeah of course i do, but this isnt a friendship. the worst part - i dont think she even realises! and i know im not blowing this out of preportion because it has hurt and angered me so much that im turning back to this stupid blog. STUPID!
god why do i even care. its not like i dont have other friends. but i think the hurt is stemming from the fact that i want to know why she isnt trusting me. ive confronted her once about this and she said she just didnt want everyone knowing. what not even me, your best friend?
god im just tired and angry and so so hurt - hurt that she could do this, and hurt that she doesnt seem to realise or care.
"we tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. but every time we tell a lie, the thing that we fear grows stronger, and the people we love fall further away." tad williams
"it is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great tears in everyday life." john updike
"it is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, she overlooks lateness, accepts absurd excuses, permits the flimsiest patching to repair great tears in everyday life." john updike
i think they kind of seem relevant....
